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I love this time of year. Christmas carols, twinkling lights on trees, sipping hot chocolate, decadent treats, time with family and friends, incessant ads and commercials about all the things you and your children absolutely have to have – oh wait… maybe I don't love that part.
I love to give gifts. One of my favorite things about gift-giving is thinking about the person I am giving a gift to and trying hard to come up with “the perfect gift.” I love knowing that I have succeeded in my quest when I see someone delight in a gift I have given.
When I had children, I knew that my delight in gift-giving could end up being a recipe for disaster. I mean really, the toys all looked so fun, the clothes were absolutely ADORABLE, and who doesn't love to see their children's eyes light up with joy! However, that's not really what Christmas is all about is it?
So we had to come up with a plan. We decided that we would do three gifts in our family. I always tell my kids, “Jesus only got three gifts from the wisemen, and no one deserves more gifts than Jesus got!”
We always give them a “gold” gift – which is something they want. This gift is something on their Christmas list that they are really hoping for. Then for frankincense and myrrh gifts we do something they need (usually clothes or pajamas) and something we can do together as a family. For that last one, we really try to focus on a “memory making” activity. Some years this is a board game that we can all play together as a family. Some years this has been tickets to a show or a game that we think that child will really like.
We have always explained to the kids why we do this and it helps us keep the focus on what Christmas really should be about, and helps cut the focus on materialism out. It helps me focus in, and still allows me to give meaningful gifts (my favorite is coming up with our “memory making” gift), but keeps me from going overboard. It helps make the gift-giving portion of the holiday a little more meaningful for us.
Here are some other ideas to make your holidays meaningful:
1. Set up a Nativity Scene – Several years ago I learned of a family that waited to put Jesus into their Nativity scene until Christmas morning. I thought that would be a great idea, until one year I hid Jesus “somewhere I wouldn't forget” when I took out the Christmas decorations and then couldn't find him on Christmas morning. I'm pretty sure weeping and gnashing of teeth ensued. Nonetheless, it is a great tradition. I know of a family who intentionally “hides” Jesus and has a game of seeing who can find Jesus first. Great fun.
2. Volunteer as family – Consider serving a meal somewhere, adopting a family who needs some help, baking cookies for a neighbor, or even Christmas caroling at a nursing home. Finding ways to give puts the focus on the right things at Christmas.
3. Create A Random Acts of Kindness Creche – Set up a cradle in your house. Instead of a traditional “Advent Calendar” (or in addition to one) have members of your family perform acts of kindness for each other (or others). They could make someone's bed, set the table, etc. Have them do these acts “secretly” and each time they do they get to put a piece of straw (or strips of paper if you don't want straw in your house) into the creche. The goal is to have the softest possible place to lay Jesus on Christmas morning. On Christmas morning, place a “Jesus” doll in your cradle and read the Christmas story. Then talk about the acts of kindness your performed and how it made you feel.
4. Create Christmas Ornament Blessings – Buy clear ornaments from a craft store. Write each family member's name on the ornament. Cut out strips of green and red paper and place them in the basket. All through advent, have family members write nice things about that person on the strips of paper and put them into the ornaments. On Christmas morning everyone can read all of their papers and delight in the gift of affirmation.
What special traditions do you have?
