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I sat in a chair and listened to a doctor trying to convince a woman to be intubated. She was screaming in Spanish and gasping. I stared at my five-year-old fingers and willed her to stop. She didn't—until she did.
When I was five, I didn't have any context for tragedy. I played in the hallways of our local children's hospital, riding up and down the elevators, pushing my younger sister through the basement on a gurney. We roamed those halls until our older sister died. I was nine. It took me years to come to terms with her long illness and death, and I was angry with God for a long time.
Twenty-something years later, I found myself sitting on a gurney, an oxygen tube strung across my nose, a mask strapped to my face, and an intubation tray behind my right shoulder. A respiratory specialist stood behind me, waiting quietly.
I thought of the faces of my little boys as I'd left the preschool playroom on a stretcher. What had I said? Did I tell them I loved them? Did I tell them someone was coming to get them? “God is good.” I know I'd said, “God is good. No matter what.” Did they understand? Would I get to tell them again? Lord, keep them from anger.
* * * * *
Life is hard. As believers in Jesus Christ, we have a responsibility to prepare our kids for trials before they occur. We know hardship is coming—we may not know what form it will take, but we know we live in a fallen, decaying world. Kids need to be able to encounter pain without losing faith in Christ. By preparing our children for trouble beforehand, we can help them process pain so they can stand strong in their faith.
Following are four things your children need to know to prepare them for the hard times.
1) Trials Will Come
This is a truth that is promised throughout Scripture. Knowing pain will come can help remove the feelings of betrayal and shock when it does occur. The Lord used pain in the lives of individuals in the Bible for good, not only in their lives, but in the lives of others as well.
2) It's OK to Hurt
Even teens need a parent to reassure the validity of their feelings. It's acceptable to grieve loss and change. Where we cross into sin is when we fixate on worry. God is still sovereign and He's still in control.
3) Suffering is for a Purpose
The book of Job is an wonderful resource for studying God's sovereignty. God is in control and nothing we do will change that. Any pain in our lives has been allowed by Him for our good and His glory. It's our job to grow in Christ and guard against bitterness.
4) We Praise God in Our Pain and for Our Pain
Scripture commands us to praise God when we encounter hardship and difficulty. I personally love Job 1:20-21 and Romans 5:1-5. Like David, we can turn to God in our grief, but we must also praise Him for His will for our lives. For me, this spiritual discipline has developed my character more than any other I've undertaken. I praise the Lord in the midst of my pain out loud in front of my kids, sometimes in tears.
* * * * *
When my sister died, I could not imagine that I would ever recover. When I developed severe asthma as a mother of four, I was overwhelmed. Yet, God has used the pain in my life to draw me into His Word, to sanctify me, and to bring glory to Himself. I've been humbled and forced to rely on Him. I've come to understand that anything good I am able to do is the direct result of Him working in my life. I am a cracked vessel and He is the light shining through the fissures in the ceramics.
Life is hard. But we Christians have the answer. We know pain is coming and we know where to turn. With prayer, time in the Word and intentional instruction, you can prepare your children for trials and help them find solid footing on the Rock of Ages, Our Lord Jesus Christ.
“In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith–more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire–may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. ” ~ 1 Peter 1:6-7
Image: In the Corner. From a Home, 1894, Carl Larsson (1853-1919), Public Domain
