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I have a love/hate relationship with social media.
I have appreciated the way it has allowed me to stay in touch with friends who have settled all over the country. For an Army brat like me it has been a valuable tool. I have been able to see pictures of my friends' children, hear about things going on in their daily lives, and keep in touch on some level in a way that I am not sure we would have before social media.
I use Facebook for these interactions a lot, and every person on my Facebook account is someone with whom I have had personal or professional interaction and I care about – so it is fun to read their updates and see the things they post.
Sometimes, however, I see things that make me crazy. Posts from friends, or even comments from friends of friends that just don't align with my worldview or belief system. I have been known to type out long (animated) responses and then take a screen shot before I delete the post. For some reason, in my head this makes me feel better and helps me avoid conflict that isn't necessary.
Election season is the worst for these types of posts.
As we enter into that season I am bracing myself for more and more. However, one of the things that helps me now when I see someone post something that I disagree with, is to take a few minutes and look through that person's profile. I remind myself that this person is a person I care about. I remind myself that this person is someone who, although they may feel very differently on a political issue than I do, also worries and prays for their children and/or grandchildren. I look back and see that they also love their family with all their heart. I remember that they are one of God's beloved, imperfect children – just like me.
In those moments, my heart softens.
My dear friend and colleague Jeanne has taught me a lot about the commandment to not “bear false witness against your neighbor” (Exodus 20:16). It is easy to take this at face value and to say we will not lie about our neighbor. However, when we take this a step further and understand this is not only refraining from lying or gossiping but it also means working to present everyone in the best possible light, it really changes your focus.
Jeanne has done a great job of challenging me when I have been quick to speak about someone negatively. She has a beautiful gift of speaking about others in a way that lifts people up, shines a light on their gifts, and always assumes the best.
I have been working hard to teach my children to do the same. To do that, I have to be careful about how I am speaking about our leaders, our friends, and our family. We can disagree about issues without speaking unkindly about people or assuming to know their motives or understand their heart.
A go-to verse for me when thinking about how to handle how I speak about others, even when I disagree with them, is Ephesians 4:29-32:
Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with which you were marked with a seal for the day of redemption. Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you. (NRSV)
Take time today to think about how you handle disagreements. Are you able to disagree with someone and still remain friends? Have you taught your children how?
