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Time and time again research tells us that the biggest influence on a child's faith is the faith of their parents. Faith-practices in the home, faith discussions, and the examples that a parent sets when it comes to faith are key in shaping a child's view on God and faith. This fact delights and terrifies me at the same time.
The sensible part of me is glad that I have the primary influence over my children on a topic that is so important to me, and something that I hold dear. I want to help my children experience the love of Christ that surpasses all understanding. I want them to feel like they have a place to turn when their world is crumbling. I want them to live their lives sharing God's love with everyone they meet. I want them to delight in reading the scriptures and sharing that with others.
I love instilling faith-practices in our home that I think will be meaningful for all of us.
Then, there are days like I had last week. Days where my temper was short. Days where all the news seemed bad. Days when, frankly, I'm kind of angry with God. It is on those days I think, “Really, I'm the most important influence they have?”
It is on those days I wish that I didn't know what I know. I wish that I could count on someone else to pass on a strong faith to my children. My kids have coaches who teach them hockey and gymnastics (activities that I know little about) and they are thriving at those activities – so, why not this? Why can't I just drop them off for religious education for one hour a week at church? Wouldn't that be good enough?
The answer is – no. This is just too important. There are days that it is hard – so hard. Some days it is hard enough to know what you believe, much less pass on that belief to your children. Some days you can barely find enough time to spend your own personal time connecting with God, much less coming up with time for family devotions or Pinterest projects on the scriptures. I know. You can do it though.
Here are some concrete suggestions for how you can be the primary faith influence in your family:
1. Tell your own faith story – Talk to your kids about what you believe, and why. Compile a book filled with the faith stories of those in your family, telling why they believe what they believe and encouraging your child on their faith journey (bonus points for encouraging hand written letters – they will be treasured).
2. Enlist allies – You are the primary influence in your child's faith journey – however, it doesn't mean you can't have allies! Partner with your church, your family members and friends to pray for your child and to teach them about the things and values that are important to you.
3. Talk about faith often – Find ways to incorporate faith “talk” into many different things you do. When you experience something beautiful in nature, talk about how God has created beautiful things. Take opportunities to pray often.
4. Allow forgiveness and grace– We can model Christ's love in the way we show forgiveness and grace, and by asking for them when we haven't shown Christ's love in the way we should. That is a powerful example to set for your children. Remember that bad day I talked about? I told my family that I wasn't proud of my actions that day, and asked for their forgiveness.
