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By Amanda Pelser 6 Comments

Dear Laboring Mom

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My friend Heather is a former nurse. She has some encouraging words for moms-to-be about labor and delivery. She has some great tips in here! Her words have encouraged me as I prepare to give birth to Baby Josiah.
-Amanda

Dear momma who is about to give birth... from a labor and delivery nurse.

Dear Laboring Mom,

Congratulations! Nine long months of waiting and you're finally about to meet your little one for the very first time. I am so happy to be able to share this day with you. During the course your labor, you will think of me as your best friend and your worst enemy {sometimes in the same 30 minute span}, but I'm going to love you through it all.

Since you're not actually reading this while you're in labor, I have a few things I want to tell you:

First of all, expect the unexpected. Nothing will go as planned. Babies and God seem to always have surprises in store for us. It's okay, we will take care of you and your baby. While we are talking about the unexpected, I have to add here and I'm not sure why this is, but usually the more detailed birth plans equal higher instances of c-sections. This is purely an observation, take it as you will. The main thing to remember is birth is unpredictable, make your wishes known, but know that we will always err on the side of caution to ensure the safety of you and your baby.

Birth is not like you see on television, and no two births are alike. Don't believe what everyone tells you either. People tend to remember either what was really good or really bad about their birthing experiences. Let your experience be yours, not clouded by false expectations others have given you.

Since we're talking about other people for a minute here, tell your support people to actually be supportive. If they are ignoring you, it annoys us and they are simply in the way. Encourage them to be involved.

Know your hospital's Labor & Delivery visitation policies before you go into labor. Choose your support people ahead of time and communicate these wishes to your family members. When you are admitted to L&D, most facilities will ask you for the names of a few people who are allowed to visit you while in labor. These are the only people who will be allowed in. It doesn't matter how many times your Great Aunt Sally comes to the door, if she isn't on the list, we won't let her in. Infant abduction is real. It happens and visitation policies are enforced to keep you and your baby safe.

Now that all of that is out of the way, let's focus on having a baby!

Remember the pain will last only a moment, but the joy of childbirth will last a lifetime.Yes, contractions are painful, and seeing you suffering through them brings back painful memories of my own labor experiences and I hurt with you, but you have to relax and breathe! Your body's natural reaction to pain is to tense up and hold your breath, but your baby needs you to breathe for him/her.

Change your position at least every 30 minutes {I will help you!}. Research has shown that this can reduce your labor time by as much as seven hours!! That is huge! Just do not lay flat on your baby, baby does not like that!

Breathing and changing positions always helps to control your pain, but epidurals do not always work. Even though I think epidurals are wonderful, I won't pressure you either way. The choice is yours, did you hear that? The choice is yours, not your doctor's, not your mother's, not your mother in law's…yours!

I dislike interventions as much as you do. C-sections and episiotomies are always last resorts, but remember a healthy baby is the goal no matter how he/she enters this world!

I am your advocate. I am here for you. Tell me what you want and I will try to make it happen. Need me to hold your hand? I'm here. Need me to kick an annoying visitor out of the room? Got it. Need a prayer? I've got you covered. Need me to talk with your doctor? I'll go to bat for you. I love my job and no matter if I've seen one thousand births, each one is special, and I'm honored to be your nurse.

So, are you ready to hold that sweet baby?

You can do this, Mama! Let's go!!

Love,

Your Labor & Delivery Nurse
Heather Bowen is a wife, homeschooling mother and follower of Jesus. In 2012, after 5 years of being a nurse, she traded in her scrubs to embrace the calling of being a full time work from home mother (writer, speaker, and virtual assistant). Heather blogs about all things faith, family and homeschooling at Upside Down Homeschooling. She is a Teach Them Diligently blogger and a monthly contributor to The Homeschool Village, The Curriculum Choice, Free Homeschool Deals, So You Call Yourself a Homeschooler?, and a member of iHomeschoool Network.

Like this post? Read more of our posts about motherhood here.

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Filed Under: Motherhood Tagged With: pregnancy

About Amanda Pelser

Amanda is a former church communications director turned work-at-home(schooling)-mom. She has a MA in Old Testament Studies and a BA in Bible. She's married to her high school sweetheart and they have four boys. She writes about faith, motherhood, and homeschooling at The Pelsers.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. GAHCindy says

    I have loved my L&D nurses. Honestly, I’ve often wondered why the doctors don’t just get out of the way and let them do it. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Kidding. I’ve loved my doctor and midwife, too. But the nurses have a very special place in my heart. <3

    Reply
    • Carla says

      lol…My 3rd baby came fast and the nurses actually *did* deliver her! One minute she was putting in an IV and the next minute she was calling for backup! ๐Ÿ˜‰ They did a great job, and I’ve been grateful for them!!

      Reply
  2. natalie says

    My doctor (even when I was about 5 cm, 100% effaced) was convinced I was not going to give birth a month early. Thank god for my L&D nurse who coached me through it all and kept both me and my husband calm! She was fantstic!

    Reply
  3. Heather N. says

    I don’t remember my nurse with Ian…(I kind of feel bad about that now actually! I remember she was very nice and reassuring because Ian was having D-Cels but that’s about it….) But my nurses with Billy and Alex were awesome-sauce! With Alex, my water broke but I was not contracting and she was so patient and kind as we waited, moved to pitocin and really made me feel like I was in control (although I trusted her to tell me if we needed to change something). By the time Alex was born and I was moving into my room she looked at me, laughed and said “you are NOT normal!” I took it as a great compliment ๐Ÿ˜‰ I hope expectant moms out there read this and realize the nurses are on THEIR (and their babies’) side!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  4. Bethany V. says

    Sounds like you are a great labor and delivery nurse. But not all of them are as great as you. I had one who was really rude to my family (who are pretty much the most unassuming people you will every meet) and my sister is an OBGYN PA who knew all the hospital rules and was very careful, but she made it clear with her attitude that she thought they shouldn’t have been there. (I had a better nurse with my second delivery). When my sister finally decided to have her epidural (after a few rounds of pitocin and laboring in the hospital for hours) her L&D nurse’s attitude totally changed. She was brusque and cold, like she was judging my sister for “abandoning” her natural labor plan. I agree, L&D nurses can be wonderful advocates (mine convinced the resident that she was overreacting to a faint discoloration in the amniotic fluid when my water broke. Turned out she was right and the resident was wrong).

    Reply
  5. Paige says

    My L&D nurses were so amazing and sweet when I was in labor. I even had the pleasure of having a CNM deliver my daughter instead of an OB. I would do it all over again if I could, but I’m not quite ready for that journey yet ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply

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