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This is day 6 of 31 Days of Finding Joy in Depression. Yesterday, I shared about the denial in depression. Today, I want to tell you what depression looks like.
I shared some of the symptoms of depression on day 2, but he way that those symptoms manifest themselves is different for each person. Here is what it looks like for me:
- Always feel a little “lower” than those around me. Even when I'm excited, I don't look like people think an excited person should look. I'm not necessarily unhappy, I just don't have the same highs as others do. And when I have a “low” period, it is lower than the average person.
- I hide in sleep. I think require a decent amount of sleep – at least 8 hours a night to function well – but this goes beyond that. This teems up with exhaustion and makes me want to sleep all the time. I also have PCOD and part of that is a hormone imbalance that further complicates this symptom. When I don't know what to do and feel overwhelmed, I sleep.
- Difficulty focusing. I think this one has become worse over the years, even when my dysthymia is well-managed. Maybe that's living in a house with a bunch of off-the-wall boys? When my dysthymia is not in check, I'm all over the place. Can't complete anything.
- Feeling like I can't do anything right. Hopeless. Helpless. I give up. I stop even trying to complete anything or focus on anything which takes me back to number three, which then takes me back to number 2.
- Easily get made at myself. Feel easily frustrated. Irritable. Uncontrollably irritable. No amount of happy thoughts or self-talk can make you think straight or settle.
- Anxiety. Irrational fears and worry.
Many of these symptoms persist when my depression is under control, but they look different. They are manageable. They are not overwhelming and taking over of my life.
Do you experience any of the symptoms of depression? What do they look like for you?
If you deal with depression, please comment and share your journey too. If you're a blogger, you can use the button and code below to share your story and link back on your blog. Feel free to leave links to your posts in the comments area.
I'm linking up with The Nester and others who are writing 31 posts this month on various topics. I'm not a doctor or a counselor and this is not intended to be medical advice. This is simply the story of my experience with depression.
