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This is day 4 of 31 Days of Finding Joy in Depression. Yesterday, I shared the first part of my story of discovering that I had depression. Today, is the second part of that story.
I left work early and headed for my doctor's office. I remember sitting in the waiting room and wanting desperately to leave. Not wanting to deal with this. I'm a Christ-follower. I work in a church. I shouldn't be dealing with this. What will people say when they find out?
Finally I found myself sitting in the room with my doctor, spilling the details of my depression and anxiety. Finally asking for help. Finally ready to receive help. My doctor gave me his diagnosis: dysthymia.
He explained that people with dysthymia have moods that are consistently a little lower than most people and the ups and downs are not as dramatic. Various triggers can cause a longer low period for a time. The solution: medication.
I didn't like the idea of going on medication, but I had to do something. Together, my doctor and I made the decision to try it and reevaluate in 30 days. My insurance wouldn't pay for the first medication, but my doctor worked with me to find one that would be covered. I'll tell you more about my experience with the medication later in this series. For now, let me just say that it really helped.
My OB/GYN is a very soft spoken man with a great bedside manner. He is not pushy, but he is also very straight forward. Josh and I have both been very happy with him since I started going there shortly after we moved to the area. He would never have pushed me to take medication or face depression. He knew that I had to come to that myself.
I went back for the follow-up appointment with my doctor a different person. I don't think I truly understood the severity of the situation until I went back for that second appointment. After hearing about the last month and the changes on the medication, that soft spoken doctor stood in front of me with tears in his eyes. He revealed he'd seen the dysthymia in me for many years. He said that he had been very concerned about me and was was so happy to see the improvement. He was also very clear that he didn't just hand out drugs to every women who walks into the office.
I don't think I will ever forget the look on my doctor's face that day. I'm very thankfully for an OB/GYN who is perceptive and well-trained. If someone who saw me only once a year and during pregnancy could see this, I couldn't deny any longer that this was a serious issue.
How did you discover that you have depression? If you think you might have depression, what's your next step?
If you deal with depression, please comment and share your journey too. If you're a blogger, you can use the button and code below to share your story and link back on your blog. Feel free to leave links to your posts in the comments area.
I'm linking up with The Nester and others who are writing 31 posts this month on various topics. I'm not a doctor or a counselor and this is not intended to be medical advice. This is simply the story of my experience with depression.
