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I recently attended an open house at the middle school for my oldest child. I'm embarking on new territory here. For many years I have worked with middle school youth and I have publicly stated that middle school kids are my favorite, and they are!
This is the first time, however, that my child will be one of them. As I sat in one of the rooms waiting for the first presentation to begin, I was listening to snippets of conversation going on around me.
“What summer activities have you signed your kids up for?” “You know, if you don't get them into summer training camps for sports, they will never make the high school teams.” Then there was this – “We are counting on so and so's involvement in these activities for college scholarships, and you know, colleges are looking carefully at extra-curricular activities now-a-days.”
I was relieved when the meeting began. I listened to the orientation. As the first presentation came to an end I began to feel overwhelmed. Will he remember where to go? Will he remember his locker combination? I need to get home and look at summer opportunities – man, we are way behind. All these thoughts went through my head as we traveled to our next presentation. At the end of that presentation, I overheard another group of parents talking about the school.
“We just aren't sure this curriculum will be challenging enough.” “We are looking into private schools.” “We love it here; best choice we ever made.” Ugh. Now all the insecurities and doubts began to take over. Am I doing the right things for my kids? Am I making choices now that will impact their future in big ways?
I took a deep breath, and realized I needed to think about some of the things I've been telling families for years. Families facing these very same insecurities and dilemmas.
When you are making decisions about activities and priorities, think about the kind of adult you want your child to be. Twenty years from now will your child still be playing baseball? You have less than 1/2 % of a chance of playing MLB if you are on your high school baseball team. Believe me, my son is convinced he will be in those numbers, but the chances are slim.
Twenty years from now, do you hope your child is still going to church? Do you hope that your children are still Christians? That doesn't make these other things wrong or bad. There are great lessons to be learned in being part of a team. I love what my kids have learned in their activities and I absolutely want my children to have academic success as well. I want them to find a vocation that not only captures their heart's desires but helps to serve a great need in the world.
These are important things. I just have to remember that, for me, they aren't the most important thing.
My strongest hope for my children, and for all of God's children, is that they will grow up knowing they are loved by God, no matter what.
I pray that they would come to claim that identity as the most important one. I want them to be a Child of God first, before they are an athlete, or an accountant, or a beautician. Sometimes we all get mixed up about which identity is most important. When someone asks us about who we are or what we do, we struggle with that identity.
But for each of us, the primary answer should be the same: “I am a Child of God, and I am loved – no matter what.” Think of how our self-esteem, and the self-esteem of our kids might change if we truly believed that.
Every bathroom mirror in our house has the following window cling on it.
These stickers were given out at baptisms at our church. Every day when they wash their face or brush their teeth I want my children to be reminded of “who they are” and “Whose they are” until that identity is ingrained into their hearts and they can proclaim it boldly.
What do you do to remember your true identity as a Child of God?
