• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • About
    • Contact
  • Blog
  • Faith
    • Kids in the Word
  • Motherhood
    • Depression
    • Recipes
  • Homeschooling
    • Printables
    • Curriculum
    • History
    • Math
    • Science

The Pelsers

A Shelter for the Heart

Join our community of over 10,000 for more faith, motherhood, and homeschooling encouragement and resources for you and your family!

Awesome! Now check your email to confirm!

There was an error submitting your subscription. Please try again.

Free Guide!

Dsc00583

Do your kids struggle with their Bible study and "devotional" time?

I'd love to send you my FREE guide with tips for teaching your kids to have their own devotional time!

Success! Now check your email to confirm your email address.

There was an error submitting your subscription. Please try again.

Powered by ConvertKit

By Amanda Pelser 6 Comments

Grace for the Good Girl ~ Chapter 4 and 5

This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my full disclosure statement here.
Pin
Share
Tweet
0 Shares

grace for the good girl by emily p. freeman

Last week I wrote about chapter 2 and 3 of Grace for the Good Girl.  This week, I’m in chapter 4 and 5.

Here are some quotes from chapter 4 and 5. (I’m reading in the Kindle app for iPad so no page numbers):

  • He was so accustomed to functioning in a culture of strength that he believed to seek advice for a mental ailment would be a threat to his career.
  • I can put a smile on my face no matter what. Most people don’t even know I deal with depression; most don’t know how severely it affects my life.
  • many good girls have a natural disposition of sweetness that can morph into a mask of false happiness and steal authentic joy that comes from the Lord.
  • We value harmony above our own opinions or emotions, and we smile and smooth over rather than risk disappointment or worse, rejection.
  • We insult the beauty of intimacy and sometimes even risk our own health for the sake of keeping everything fine.
  • In order for her to receive the gift of God’s unconditional love and acceptance for her, she had to come to a place of surrender and brokenness. She had to give up fine.
  • There is no place in the Bible where it says emotions are categorized as right or wrong. Still, for a good girl in hiding, it feels risky to be honest about them.
  • Sometimes it just takes too much energy to be authentic.
  • Trying not to experience the whole spectrum of emotions is like trying to be inhuman.
  • Our fluctuating humanness is there on purpose, to remind us of our need and draw us to the One who can meet it.
  • Maybe you can relate to feeling vanilla-grey, like your work is ordinary, or what you do is somehow not enough. Maybe you are haunted with whispers that challenge and threaten: The work you do isn’t very important. You are ordinary, less-than, and unnoticed.
  • Martha received the Lord joyfully, welcoming him with eagerness. Her motives started out right, as those of a good girl often do.
  • I see myself as irreplaceable when I think that the work won’t get done unless I do it. Instead of looking to him to provide what is needed, Martha rolled up her sleeves and took on responsibility for things that may never have been meant for her.
  • It isn’t that she wanted to be working. It’s that she thought she had to. She felt responsible.
  • Choosing to please God sounds right at first, but it so often leads to a performing life, a girl trying to become good, a lean-on-myself theology. If I am trying to please God, it is difficult to trust God. But when I trust God, pleasing him is automatic.

“How are you?”

Is that a real question?  You know what I mean.  It seems like more of a nicety than a sincere question.  So I default to “fine” and leave it at that.  Sometimes I’m too afraid to give the real answer and sometimes I don’t think the other person really want to hear the real answer.  I hide behind “fine.”

The truth?  I’m not fine.  I have minor chronic form of depression called dysthymia.  I’m not a chipper cheerful type.  And I never will be.  That’s just not who I am.  And I have to be ok with that.  But, I don’t have to suffer in the lows alone.  And neither do you.  I spent 31 days in October opening up about depression in hopes that it would help other women step out of that hiding too.  It all starts with letting go of “fine.”

Mary and Martha

Can I just say that I’ve never liked this story?  I don’t like it because I’m Martha.

There are stories and commands throughout the Bible that we are supposed to serve.  That’s what Martha was doing, but some how it got turned upside down and her priorities were all mixed up.

Serving can so easily turn into pleasing.  Before trusting, putting my best foot forward so someone has a good impression of me.  This turns into a vicious cycle of continually trying to perform so you feel like you can trust and be trusted.  And you can’t stop.

The truth is, there’s a place for serving and a place for resting and I can’t use either as a mask for trusting or being trusted.

Missed a week of the discussion?  You can start here for the whole series.

Momma Day By Daygrace for the good girl by emily p. freeman chatting at the sky

Teach Your Kids to Have a Devotional Time

Devotional ebooklet thumbnail

Teaching your kids grow their own faith doesn't have to be difficult. Get this downloadable guide to help you teach your kids to have their own devotional time!

Awesome! Now check your email inbox to confirm your email address so we can send your free guide!

There was an error submitting your subscription. Please try again.

Powered by ConvertKit
Pin
Share
Tweet
0 Shares

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: books, discussion group, Grace for the Good Girl

About Amanda Pelser

Amanda is a former church communications director turned work-at-home(schooling)-mom. She has a MA in Old Testament Studies and a BA in Bible. She's married to her high school sweetheart and they have four boys. She writes about faith, motherhood, and homeschooling at The Pelsers.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Meredith says

    I LOVE YOUR NEW HEADER!!!

    And I am so proud of you.
    I am praying that God brings the hurt and hiding over to your space here…. where they will find the support of one who has walked there before and come out the other side.

    Reply
    • Amanda Pelser says

      I’m so glad you like it.  I’m still tweaking things.  My friend and her husband took my (and Josh’s) idea and ran with it.

      Thank you for your prayer!

      Reply
  2. Mama Kautz says

    There is no place in the bible where it says emotions are right or wrong  This was a great line for me! It’s okay, as a Christian, to have depression! We aren’t broken!

    Reply
    • Amanda Pelser says

      That was eye-opening for me too.

      Reply
  3. Christina Gilliland says

    Blog looks great! and it is so easy for serving to turn into pleasing, like you said. It is so hard as a good-girl to serve just one person: God. Thank you for confessing about your depression! Depression runs in my family and is something I have to fight against as well. It can be a battle to put it behind you…I am continually trying to learn that it is OK to have some “off days” and that God will give me the strength to overcome it. Tomorrow will be better…Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
    • Amanda Pelser says

      Thanks.  It’s a work in progress.  And so am I 🙂

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Welcome to The Pelsers!

My name is Amanda and this is my family, The Pelsers. Here you'll find a shelter for your heart in the midst of the busy and the chaos with stories about faith, motherhood, and homeschooling. Make yourself at home, take part in the conversation, and enjoy the journey!
Read more about The Pelsers...
The Pelsers in Facebook Amanda Pelser on Twitter Follow Amanda on Pinterest Amanda Pelser on Instagram

Teach Your Kids to Have a Devotional Time

Devotional ebooklet thumbnail

Teaching your kids grow their own faith doesn't have to be difficult. Get this downloadable guide to help you teach your kids to have their own devotional time!

Awesome! Now check your email inbox to confirm your email address so we can send your free guide!

There was an error submitting your subscription. Please try again.

Powered by ConvertKit
Homeschool Launch 2016
How We Saved $7,000 per Year on Health Insurance | ThePelsers.com

Footer

  • Privacy Policy
  • PR & Sponsors
  • Contact

© Copyright 2016 The Pelsers - Amanda Pelser · All Rights Reserved ·
Designed by The Multi-Taskin Mom and The Pelsers Media

Copyright© 2019 · Brunch Pro Theme by Shay Bocks