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Rejection! We all have faced it, in some degree or another in our lives. It's something that I, personally, have seen a lot of in my life.
I'm always telling my kids how much I really want us to be close, even when they grow up, and eventually move out. I've always longed for those weekly big family dinners; probably because it's something I never had growing up. I'd even settle for them just on the holidays, really. The problem is that, we seem to be repeating the same dysfunctional patterns, which my husband and I saw growing up, and still feel as adults. Rejected.
Growing up in my family, kids were seen but not heard. That didn't bode well for this candid, and I admit at times, mouthy, little girl. My husband saw a similar upbringing, as he tells it, of being rejected for making all kinds of mistakes. We both spent a lot of time “grounded”, mostly to our rooms, as youngsters. Alone and feeling rejected.
Reading this chapter resonated to me, the lack of acceptance I've received in my life, but also the lack of acceptance I'm now not giving to my children. I could lick my wounds and say, this is not my fault. I'm merely a product of my raising. I am who I am; of course listening to the lies of the enemy. Or I can make a conscious effort to change the cycle of unacceptance, that has probably gone on, in our families, for generations.
Trying to get a good Mother's Day picture, my face says it all!
We don't have perfect children, who stand at attention or listen attentively to their parents' instructions. Our relationships look messy. Each person seems to be wired on totally different frequency sometimes {see above picture for an example}. Mistakes are made and things are said without thought for others' feelings. “I'm sorry”, gets said in our home almost daily.
This quote, from the book, gave me a new direction: “We must seek God first when it comes to molding our children, or we will make the mistake of molding them into our image instead of His. We will try to make them into what we want them to be for our pleasure and pride and not for the glory and praise of their heavenly Father. (It's easy to get snagged in the trap of wanting our kids to make us look good. This culture is full of parents living vicariously through their children.)” ~Rachael Carman (Page 108).
What a great reminder! Now, 17 years into raising children I'm learning that, having kids is not all about me! But is all about me! My kids' personalities, character “flaws” {as the world likes to call them}, and mistakes are, so that, I learn to be also molded by my creator. They bring the bad and good out of me. And God makes my mess into a beautiful thing.
My kids are not burdens or outcasts. But are here for God's divine purpose. They are here for God's purpose, both while in my home, as well as their time in the world. Whatever they do, I hope they fulfill God's plans for their lives. Because in the end, that is all that really matters.
My 15y/o volunteering at an outreach program; she also attended her first mission trip last summer.
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'” ~ Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
Jen was born and raised in the Midwest. But is geographically displaced because she wasn't made for the cold, snowy winters. She loves the Lord. She loves her husband. And loves home educating her 15-year-old daughter and 8-year-old son. She started writing in college. And was pressured to start a frugal “homeschooling” blog by her ‘Write a Children's Book' online-teacher, in the summer of 2010. Since, she had already tried blogging, she was reluctant to try it again. But quickly found her niche at GricefullyHomeschooling.com.