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Have you ever kept a diary or a journal?
I recently came across a diary I had written in my pre-teen years and found it quite amusing. I have been an “on and off” again journal keeper for most of my life.
Many years ago I vowed to stop writing in journals because I was very afraid that anyone who found my journals and read them someday would think I was an angry, unbalanced person. This is because my tendency was only to really write in my journal when I was sad or angry. I wasn't the kind of journal writer who would keep a daily chronicle of my life – I just needed an outlet or safe place for the intense emotions I was feeling that I didn't really know what to do with.
I had terrible visions of my great-grandchildren discovering my journals and sharing stories of their “poor, angry, depressed great-grandma” and I quickly destroyed them and abandoned the practice.
My pre-teen daughter and I have recently started a mother/daughter journal. This is another way for us to communicate – especially because I have a daughter who loves to write. The written form allows for thoughts to brew and responses to percolate. We take turns writing and responding. I know when there is an entry to respond to when I see the journal “show up” on my nightstand. This has been a beautiful way of loving, listening to, and blessing one another.
In this process of journaling with my daughter, it dawned on me that there are other relationships in my life where I am longing for a deeper connection and a better way to communicate. I am always struggling to make time to pray and connect with God in a deeper way. I have good intentions, but life always seems to get in the way.
I know how important communication is to strengthening those relationships, yet I don't always make the time for the communication that is necessary.
Sometimes my feelings regarding my faith and God are overwhelming and I struggle with finding the right words or saying what I need to say. One of my favorite interviews with Mother Theresa was when someone asked her what she said when she prayed. Her response was, “Nothing, I just listen.”
The interviewer asked, “And what does God say?”
“Nothing, he just listens.”
I don't think I allow the space to listen. I talk to God and never pause to allow God to respond. I supply my own answers because I am not patient enough to wait and listen.
So I started a faith journal. I write my prayers in it. I tell God what is on my heart. I tell God what I am struggling with and what I am celebrating. Then I put it on my nightstand and wait for God to answer. Sometimes, when I go back and reread my entries, I am shocked at the ways God has responded.
What I know for sure is it has slowed me down and forced me to listen. The book on the nightstand also continues to remind me that taking the time to communicate is half the battle.
How do you most effectively communicate? Can you use that on your faith journey?
