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When my children were very young, I began to think about what kinds of spiritual practices and rituals I wanted to incorporate into our home.
There was a class I was going to be teaching at my church for new parents that included the idea of introducing a practice of “blessing” your children each and every night. I was skeptical. I talked to several of my friends about what kinds of spiritual practices they were doing in their homes. My friends were praying with their kids, they were reading Bible stories together, doing family devotions, attending worship together – but not one person mentioned anything to me about blessing.
I filed the idea away and went about my business. Except, I couldn't stop thinking about it.
I dug out my Bible and dusted it off (don't judge, I had a 2-year-old and a newborn) and started reading about blessings in the Bible. Several things became clear to me:
• There is power in a blessing
• Blessings were desired and coveted by children
• Touch was an important element in a blessing
• The moments of blessings were powerful moments between parents and children
I was (almost) convinced that this was something I should try at my house, I just had no idea what to say or do. After a lot of thought, I decided that I wanted the last thing my children to hear each night as they went to bed was that they were loved unconditionally by their Savior, and by me.
For this reason, our blessing started simply with me giving them a kiss, making the sign of the cross on their forehead and saying, “Jesus loves you and so do I.” This practice of blessing took a while before it stopped feeling a little bit awkward, at least for me. They say it takes at least thirty days for a new habit to become routine (diet, exercise, ritual) and that was probably true.
My kids now, at 11 and 9, don't know anything different. In their minds we have always had blessings as part of our evening rituals. The blessing has changed over the years, though I can' t remember when we changed it exactly. Our ritual now goes like this: “May God bless you and keep you in God's love. Jesus loves you and so does your family” (we actually name everyone, but you get the idea).
One of my favorite moments came about 5 years ago when my daughter, then 4, asked me, “Mommy, who blesses you?” I didn't have an answer, only tears as she, in her sweet little voice, repeated the blessing ritual back to me that we had done together for so many years. Now, we all bless each other.
I hope it is a practice that will continue until they leave home, and that they will practice with their own children one day.
Think about how you might incorporate blessing into your own family. What is the last thing you want your children to hear as they drift off to sleep each night? How might you incorporate touch into your blessing (the sign of the cross on the forehead, a kiss, a hand on the shoulder)?
Start a new ritual today, and your children won't be the only ones who will be blessed by it.
