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I'm linking up with Home with the Boys and reading Seasons of a Mother's Heart by Sally Clarkson. If you'd like to join in, here is the original post from Erin with the details and reading schedule.
Some of my favorite quotes from this chapter:
- {She felt like God said} Spend time alone with Nathan and just let him be himself. pg. 136
- I can spend so much time correcting them and teaching them rules that I forget the real goal of my instruction – to win their hearts for the Lord. pg. 137
- Sympathy is the key that lets me into my child's heart. pg. 138
- The first step to showing sympathy is to accept and affirm the unique personality that God has given him or her. pg. 128
- The more your children sense that you believe in them, that you think they are special, the more they will want to be around you. pg. 140
- Express your affection, affirm their achievements, understand their disappointments, calm their fears. pg. 142
Children are such interesting and unique creations. Jonathan, my oldest, is a lot like me. That means that sometimes we get along very well… and sometimes we butt heads just as hard! Being a rule-follower, type A personality, I can easily get caught up in controlling his behavior.
We have a saying in our house about obedience now –
Right away
All the way
With a happy heart
We actually chant it at times. It helps us see if we're obeying as we should and doing it with the right attitude.
Even this week, Jonathan and I have been at odds with each other over a few things. When he chooses to disobey, I'm trying to have sympathy. I'm trying to figure out the root of the behaviors and choices. These are not excuses, but factors that affect how chooses to act.
- Is he tired?
- Is he unable to do what I've asked?
- Is he overwhelmed by something else?
- Does he need more attention in a certain area or in a different way?
- How would Jesus respond to him?
I want to reach his heart, not just his behavior. The picture that Sally paints of Jesus being sympathetic to me is sobering. Jesus gave up his rights for me. In the same way, I must give up my rights to have my way in order to reach my boys' hearts.
- What am I doing to serve them?
- What am I doing to speak in their love languages?
- What am I doing to show that they matter?
- What am I doing to really understand who they each are as individuals?
No one ever said being a mom was easy. If I want my boys to see me as a soft, sympathetic place to land, I have to show them that I care about them more than I care about their obedience.
What are you doing to reach your child's heart?
