We, as women, are way more prone to drama. We just are. God has made us with super big hearts, with super big feelings, that read into relationships…and conversations and actions and looks and body language…am I right or am I right?
As much as I pride myself on trying to stay drama-free, I must admit that I fall prey to these exact same actions.
I used to be a pro at adding hidden agendas into conversations that I would have with other women/friends. I would make up alternate realities about how they really felt about me and my family, or my parenting techniques, or why my daughter didn't get invited to their daughter's party, or why nobody ever wanted to meet at my house. I had it ALL figured out.
But in all honesty, they had NEVER communicated ANY of the things that I was hypothetically conjuring up in my mind as fact. Sure, some of my suspicions may have been spot on, but was that solid truth I was relying on, or insecure feelings of rejection and hurt?
Josh, my husband, is absolutely baffled by the way women (and little girls) handle situations.
Here is just one example:
When my extended family is on vacation, the older girls often take turns rotating around our big vacation home, sleeping over in different rooms. One night, Areyna's cousin asked if she could sleep over in our room, and typically I would be the awesome aunt/mom who would allow such an event, but this particular night our girl was overly tired and wasn't really in the mood for a sleepover. Instead of just looking to her cousin and lovingly asking if they could do it another night, she gave me this look. You know, the look that says she didn't want to be the one to say “no” and hurt her cousin's feelings. So I jumped in and played the mom card and just let the innocent cousin know that maybe we would take a raincheck and that I thought Areyna needed some good sleep.
Josh literally sat there with a questioning look on his face that all but said, you just made that SO complicated!
But isn't that what we do?
And we are bringing our kids down with us. But God tells us to speak plainly. I never once read anywhere in the Bible where Jesus tried to talk around an issue. He spoke in love and truth. He shared his intentions plainly and in confidence.
I don't know about you, but I want to be a mama who teaches my daughters to rise above the drama!
But how do you do that?
The biblical foundation for our family has been this beautiful verse:
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”
If we fill our minds with these things there won't be room to fill it with the “what if's” of other people's actions or words. You can take things at face value, and love others through the seemingly hurtful things.
We will be able to talk our daughters down from the escalating drama that they come home with from school or church gatherings. We can help them navigate their own actions and words toward others.
If we can only focus on the truth of the situation–the fact that their girlfriends may have simply been having a bad day, or maybe we really did hurt their feelings and need a heart check–then we can bring Christ back into center focus and He can open our eyes and hearts as to where to go next.