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I have a wise friend who often quotes her mother's words to her: “The toddler you allow today is the teen you live with tomorrow.”
Amen, sister. That's some wisdom right there.
My husband and I are standing on the cusp of the teen years for the third and fourth time. Somehow, wisdom is always easier to come by when you're looking backward. Having raised kids once, we found ourselves much more aware of the training aspect of parenting littles the second time around.
As a society, we're in a time of cultural shifts, where the parenting style of the day is permissive. It's almost like we've forgotten that our children must obey us. It's as though we think that resistance on their part means we cannot win any parenting battles at all. Or, on the other hand, we choose to wage war on all fronts, forgetting to wisely choose our battles. Friends, that's not biblical parenting.
Biblical literacy rates these days are also discouraging. It's our job to educate our kids in God's Word. (You know that–you're here at Kids in the Word!)
I want to encourage you to fight the good fight in parenting those precious, exhausting, emotional littles. Let's look briefly at Scripture, shall we?
The Bible has a lot of stories involving parenting, but it doesn't have a whole lot of parenting commands. Scripture does, however, speak clearly to 1.) obedience and 2.) godly instruction.
We're to instruct our kids in Scripture:
You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.(Deuteronomy 11:18-20)
And further:
And when Moses had finished speaking all these words to all Israel, he said to them, “Take to heart all the words by which I am warning you today, that you may command them to your children, that they may be careful to do all the words of this law. For it is no empty word for you, but your very life…” (Deuteronomy 32:45-47a)
And from Proverbs 22:6:
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
On obedience, Paul instructs children twice:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. (Ephesians 6:1 ~ See also Colossians 3:20)
As a warning against authoritative, unreasonable, and demanding parenting, Paul twice warns fathers to avoid exasperating children.
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4 ~ See also Colossians 3:21)
Friends, it's vital to lead your kids to the Word and spend time with them there. Your little people need your love and respect. They also need to know that you're an authority figure in their life, and that you've set boundaries for them to live within.
It's through the filter and understanding of you as a loving authority figure that children will learn to obey and respect their Heavenly Father and to know His voice through His Word. (I don't know if you find that sobering, but I sure do. It reminds me to pray for my kids all the more, because I am a cracked vessel!)
It's OK to require our children to obey. It's wise to train our toddlers with the expectation that they will carry the lessons and character they learn into their teen years, and then adulthood. We choose our battles, yes, but we choose them wisely, knowing that some battles absolutely must be won.
Love your kiddos well and give them the gift of expecting respect and obedience. Train them in Scripture. It's a gift that you'll never regret.
Image: Serigraphy, Mother and child, by Adi Holzer, printed 1975-07-30 (Work number 263). Use granted with attribution.
All Scripture taken from the ESV® Study Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright ©2008 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
